Freedom, Love, Connection, Value, Stripped.

I believe that, as humans, those are all things we really need to function.

I've realized these last 2 weeks that I am fully human and therefore, desire those things.I need those things.

We are on our last day of our first Apostle. For the last 2 weeks, we've been showing these kids what it looks like to be disciples of Christ. Not just believers or Christians, but disciples--discipleship: the intense, never-ending journey of being like Christ. It's hard!

I'm learning myself that I'm not quite sure I know who I am in Christ and in my journey of being a disciple. I know bits and pieces, yes, of who I am, but the whole of who I am I'm beginning to think I am just now starting to dissect and discover.

I think that comes with being stripped of everything I once found pieces of my identity in. Everything from my clothes to my job to the reputation of my name. I don't think clothes, job, and reputation are necessarily bad things to identify WITH, but I wonder if I found my identity in those things. Now that my clothes have had to change with my environment, my job has been nonexistent for the last 4 months, and I have a new name, I realize that when I am bare and insecure, who I am shines through. I'm not sure I really know that person the way I would like to.

So now I am on a journey to know myself--not in relation to what I wear or what my name means or what my job is, but who I am behind all of those things. I think I know some things, but I also think there is a ton I don't know--and a ton more I will never know. Stay tuned.

In other news, we Proffitts are tired but blessed to have a great staff to lead these high schoolers, and we are hopeful that God has and will continue to use us to minister and lead and reveal Jesus to these kids in ways they've never seen or imagined.

I have been leading worship for Apostle, which has been good/interesting. It's been about a year and a half since I've lead worship with just me and my guitar. So in this area, I am stripped as well. It's interesting to see how I've grown and changed since the last time it was just me and my guitar in college. But it's also very scary. I feel very inadequate. "That's just where God wants you" you say...Yes, I know. But that doesn't make it any less scary!

In still other news, it turns out if you want to get ahold of me, it either has to be every other Saturday or at 6:30 in the morning my time. I occasionally can e-mail, like right now I have time, but the Internet is extremely sketchy and annoying. Again, stripped :) On Mondays, Daniel and I have off but we try to take that time to really invest in each other since we're running around all day at camp and not getting to connect like we would like to.

In still other news, Peanut Butter went on the "dessert" list. I found myself eating gobs of PB, in a subconscious (I believe) attempt to compensate for the lack of sugar. But, I don't crave sweets and it's not hard to say no. I also feel TONS better. My body feels better and I feel better in my clothes, which is nice. I know, everyone says "I can't do that. I could never give up dessert"....I was one of those people. But it's not that hard. And I am surrounded by dessert every day. It's like Christmas year-round here at camp. If i can do it, you can too. I know we've only been at it for 3 weeks, but i've NEVER gone 3 weeks in my life without dessert, and I feel confident about continuing!

Okay, I must run. Our kids right now are discovering the 9 Sacred Pathways, which are dispositions towards worship. This is my favorite activity. I could devote a whole blog to it, so maybe I will one day.

Know that even though I'm not talking to you, I love you!

Mrs. Proffitt