Notes on a Breather

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...........

That is the sound of me exhaling a tad.
It is wonderful.

We finished Future Life, season 1 (not a tv series, but real life), and we finished well. Our last retreat was 4 days long, and that, for me equals a lot of leading worship. 6 full-blown sets to be exact. I am tired, but my voice is still intact, which means (hopefully) all those vocal warmups and practicing is really paying off!

Now, we are back to the pre-summer nothingness...except this time it's a little different. I still have no job, but I am at least more comfortable in my surroundings and therefore, am able to venture out and find things to amuse myself with. I still am in a little disbelief, that at 24 and a newlywed, I am able to have no job and live in California, and support my husband. It's a rare, but somewhat challenging treasure!

For the next few days the boys (the husbands of camp) are off debriefing the summer and fall seasons, so we wives shall play. I'll let you know what 'play' means after we've actually done it. Because right now I have no clue what we'll end up doing. Probably eating and watching movies. Those are pretty girly things to do, right? My toes are already pedicured, so that's out of the picture...we have coffee at home, so Starbucks might have to wait....so I dunno. But believe you me, it will be fun. And it will be playing.

Speaking of playing, did I tell you about Daniel's birthday last week? Talk about fun. He's 26 now, which means he's getting up there, so we had to do some things to make him still feel like a kid. I made breakfast (a casserole--recipe courtesy of Daniel's mom--thanks Paula!), and while it was in the oven I went and woke Daniel up with 2 presents, both of which were some of his favorite beverages. One was acai green tea (it's pronounced ah-sigh-ee), and the other was Oregon Chai. He chose the green tea. So, we ate breakfast and had tea, and then we went over the hill (to San Jose) where we shopped around and looked for him some birthday presents...we didn't find any.....why?
It seems that anything Daniel finds in person that he likes, he is determined not to pay full price for it because "I can find it somewhere online for half that price." Actually, even if it's on sale he will still go and look for it cheaper online.
The funny thing is...he ALWAYS finds it cheaper online.

Anyways, so we shop. We go to dinner at this place called the Loft. It's a really cool bistro. One of the things Daniel wanted to do on his day was go to a restaurant we've never been to (one of his fav. things). I took it upon myself to pick the restaurant, and I chose well. Funny story:

I order the "Panko Crusted Chicken Breast" with garlic mashed potatoes, vegetables, and honey mustard sauce.

When it arrives, I am in shock at the large portion. The chicken was HUGE!!! It had to lay across both the potatoes and the vegetables. Granted, it had been pounded really thin, but it was still quite large. So I've got a lot of food on my plate.

I eat maybe half the chicken, a little potatoes, and half the veggies. Daniel eats all of his plate as well as the rest of mine. So we're both sitting there with empty plates, when the waitress walks back up, takes a look at MY plate, and goes "wow, you stuffed?" WOW, YOU STUFFED?!

What on earth is that supposed to mean? Daniel and I laughed so hard, and then we started coming up with other ways she could have said that....none of which would have been any better:

"Geez, you sure put that away"
"You must not have eaten at ALL today"
"Gonna go for a run later, huh?"


We still gave her a generous tip. And had a laugh. But really, that is ridiculous.

Anyways, moving on. After dinner, we went to the Cheesecake Factory.
Hold on: you may be thinking "Cheesecake Factory AFTER dinner can only mean one thing: dessert. And aren't you guys boycotting dessert for a year?"

Yes, yes, yes......but remember, we make our own rules. And our own rules include a clause that says "on your birthday, you must eat birthday cake"And because we pigged out on my birthday, it was only fitting that we at least let the man have some cake!

We got Chris's Outrageous Chocolate Cake. See entry from June 14th.....same cake. In case you missed what is in this cake, let me tell you:

It is the size of a brick.
It is 8 layers:
2 chocolate cake
2 fudge brownie
1 coconut cheesecake
2 german chocolate ganache
1 fudge ganache
Then the whole thing is drenched in chocolate ganache, with more ganache, and more chocolate, then it's rolled in chocolate shavings. And topped with whipped cream.

When you haven't had any dessert in 3 1/2 months, Chris's Outrageous Chocolate Cake is heaven on earth.....we ate the whole thing and felt so sick...in a good way. We of course, didn't feel sick enough to not get birthday ice cream on the way home. Ben & Jerry's Cookie Dough, and Moose Tracks. It was the little tiny cups. Don't freak out.

Our stomachs rumbled all day the next day. Not pretty, but TOTALLY worth it. I, however, do not want to think about dessert for about 8 more months. Which is fitting.

We rang in Daniels' 26th birthday with lots of style and pizzazz, and lots of food...how else should you ring in a birthday?

We head to Texas in 2 weeks! I cannot wait. I need it, big time. Til then you know I will keep you updated on the happenings in Cali.

Miss you all!!

I took my husband out on the town!

"What did you do when you took him out on the town?" you might be asking.

Let me fill you in.

When I heard about the Joyce Meyer conference going on in San Jose this weekend, I thought "Wow, Daniel would LOVE to go to that." And when I heard that Darlene Zschech from Hillsong would be leading worship, I thought "Oh man. If we DON'T go to the conference, Daniel will probably be so upset that he missed it. It's in his best interest that I suck it up and take him to the conference."

So, being the lovely wife that I am, I suffered through the Joyce Meyer conference for the sake of my husband's utmost happiness and enjoyment.

Something tells me you're not buying all this...am I right?

Okay okay. So I like Joyce Meyer, but when I found out that Darlene Zschech was going to lead worship, I was like "oh my gosh. I HAVE to go to this conference!" And I'm kind of hesitant to ask women to things of this nature because I've found that a lot of women don't enjoy conferences. So I thought I'd take Daniel. I am exposed. He graciously went with me to the conference last night...it was so good he actually suggested that we come back this morning, which we did!

Like I said before, I like Joyce Meyer. But this weekend I was thoroughly impressed with her, actually. She did an amazing job of speaking practical, simple truth and entertaining her audience as well. She's really funny and fun to listen to in person.

And I was soooo interested to see how Darlene Zschech leads worship. She's a female vocalist worship leader (no instrument), which is how I like to lead worship as well and did at Trinity. I've never gotten to see another female worship leader lead as just a vocalist, and I was so excited to see how she does it. I did notice a lot of things about her that I believe are important in a worship leader, and probably the thing I noticed the most about her was that she wasn't performing. She was worshiping. And there is a huge difference. And she invited the Spirit into the room and created an environment that made it easy to feel the freedom to worship as we chose. It was really amazing. I've never worshiped like that in a large arena full of people and felt like it was so intimate. God was definitely in that place!!! It was the same thing this morning as well. I was so thankful for the opportunity to go and I was also grateful to Daniel for coming with me---and it blessed me that he wanted to come back!


And Joyce did say she welcomed men at her conferences....Daniel was a little afraid he'd be the only guy there. Not the case. And his masculinity is protected :)

Afterwards, I had the biggest craving for the Quesadilla Explosion salad from Chili's. Weird, huh? It's so good and I hadn't had one since Texas. It was a Chili's night. For those of you who get sick of Chili's, don't take it for granted. There will come a day when all you'll want is Chili's.

So, that's our newest news...I must run to the kitchen at camp. We have a group up here and it's pasta night! It doesn't really matter what it is, actually. It's free.

Magic Band of Mountain Brothers

Are you confused by the title of this post? Well, don't be. It's merely a compilation of the newest things going on in Proffitteer-land.

Daniel and I went on a marriage vision retreat this past weekend--Marriage Today has a vision booklet and encourages couples to go on a vision retreat once a year. In honor of our 6 month anniversary of marriage (woohoo!! ha) We went on our inaugural retreat.

Now, normally when you think of "retreat", you picture a serene setting, like the woods maybe, and a small cabin or a hotel or whatever....someplace quiet.

In case you are unaware, Daniel and I live in the woods at a retreat center. But were we going to stay perched in our cabin in the woods in order to maintain the quiet stillness that is typically a retreat?

no way jose.

We went to Six Flags Magic Mountain! It's down south on the outskirts of LA...I knew early on in life that I would need to marry a man who enjoyed roller coasters as much as I do. One time when I was in 7th or 8th grade, my dad and I caught a red-eye to Dallas and spent the day at Six Flags riding roller coaster after roller coaster...then we flew home that night. SOOOOO FUN! That's one of my favorite memories.
Now fast-forward 12 or so years to married, grown-up, mature Bree and her mature, grown-up husband Daniel.

When we woke up on Magic Mountain morning, we could hardly contain ourselves. And by the time we got to the park, I was getting antsy because too many people were taking the Magic Mountain exit, which meant there would be competition for the amazing AMAZING roller coasters. And by the time we got through the gate and the clock struck 10:04, I was anxious because the park was supposed to open at 10 am SHARP. It said it online. And you should have seen Daniel and I sprint through the gate to the premier ride of the year...the X2.

It's a roller coaster that is supposedly 5 dimensions. Not only are you corkscrewing and flipping like a normal roller coaster, but your individual seat is also flipping. So really you have no idea what's going on. AND there are speakers by your head so you get to listen to a commentary the whole time, and at one point the ride shoots flame and you feel a burst of heat radiate across your face.

There was a lot of hype about this ride. It was cool, but not my favorite.

The amazing thing was that because all the people in the park spent their whole day waiting in line for the X2, there were no other people on any other roller coasters! So the rest of the day Daniel and I spent riding coaster after coaster in the blistering heat. We were sweaty, we were tired, and it was glorious.

Now you may be thinking that sounds like fun and all, but what about the retreat? Don't worry...in the booklet it specifically says "have fun"...so we did. But we were very intentional about sitting down and writing visions for our marriage in every area possible, from finances to children to housework. And it was exhausting, but incredibly beneficial.

Since we were so close to LA and I'd never been there, Daniel took me through his old stomping grounds during grad school.

I have to say, TV makes LA look pretty good. LA makes LA look really gross.
There was trash and graffiti everywhere, and the haze was so thick you couldn't read the names of the businesses occupying downtown. It amazes me that it's such a hotspot for entertainment and seems so glamorous, because it doesn't have a glamorous package. Plus, on Sunday afternoon all 6 lanes of the freeway were jammed with people...ALL SIX LANES. It was stressful!!

From there we drove on up to Santa Barbara. Talk about a glamorous package: Santa Barbara is beautiful! It was a lot slower-paced than LA, and it was clean and well-taken care of and just...well, beautiful! We stayed there one night and then headed back on Monday afternoon! It was a really great weekend--great to see things I hadn't seen, ride roller coasters, be away with camp, and create more vision for our marriage!

So that's the first part of the strange title. Get it? Magic Mountain.

The second part is what we've been doing in our wind-down time after the Future Life Retreat is done for the day....we've been watching Band of Brothers. If you've never heard of it, it's a miniseries HBO did about the 101st Airborne during WWII--more specifically, E-Company of the airborne. It's sooooooo good. I'm not usually a war-movie buff, but this is an actual true story of the Normandy invasion and beyond during WWII. It's kind of graphic, and really long--there are 10 hour-long parts to it. But if you haven't seen it or heard of it, net-flix it, buy it, borrow it, beg for it, don't steal it though. But get it. And watch it. It's so good.

So, that's where we sit currently!

In other news, I've been leading worship for the retreats going on up here. In case I didn't say it already, Future Life Retreats are 6 fall retreats where private Christian schools bring their kids up for a few days and we run them through a camp-like program. It's been so refreshing to be back leading worship. It's so different---I've had to learn to set up all the sound equipment and run sound (NEVER done that before) and I type up the power points and get them ready (never done that before either). That has been interesting. I thought I knew a lot about power point. but it turns out that's a lie. ha.

I've really really missed leading worship though since I've been out here, so it's amazing to get back into it. I really do feel the most alive whenever I'm leading worship. I just love it and I love creating an environment where people are able to freely worship God. I love to worship God and I love inviting people to do that with me. Did I mention I just love it? And it's interesting because in the last 6 months of transition and really discovering more of who I am, I feel I've become a different worship leader--more myself, more vulnerable, more purposeful. Those things make the difficulty in transition more powerful, because I realize how beneficial it's been....

Anyways, that's what's new in our world! Daniel's birthday is coming up. He'll be 26! That's so old. It's also his first birthday since we've been married. He really went all out for mine. I don't know how I'm going to top that, but believe you me, I will try.

lots of love!

and...we're...done...sort of.

The camp season has come to a close here at the Hammer, and it's as if my body knew it before my brain. I still can't believe that tomorrow we aren't getting new campers, that I actually can clean my house and it will stay that way, and that I can cook my own meals once more. My body, on the other hand, feels like lead. It's like it's just been waiting for camp to be over so it can collapse into a pile of sleep for hours upon end.

I'm not gonna lie, I like the sleep part.

What's next, you ask? Future Life retreats. They start next week, and so we'll have private schools bringing their students up for a few days and we'll run them through a camp-like program, only with about a third of our staff. Nifty! I'm looking forward to it, though. It looks like I'm going to be the worship leader for FL, which will be really fun and a cool opportunity in an environment I can't say I've ever lead worship in before.

So, that's where we sit. There are other things going on in life that I will not comment on, but in which your prayers are greatly appreciated as these next few months reveal themselves....

a short blog, I know. But dinner calls. woohoo!!

I am slightly overwhelmed by the amount of calls I need to return from the course of the summer. So please be patient with me and give me some time. It's still not my first nature to be a 'phone person', but I do want to talk to you :) So be waiting by the phone for that call. k?

love love,

Wharf to Wharf

There is an annual race in Santa Cruz called the Wharf to Wharf. Where you run, well, from one wharf to another. It's a 10k, which means it's a little over 6 miles. Last year was the first year the Camp Hammer summer staff ran the race as a group, complete with designed t-shirts.

Daniel didn't run it last year because he injured his foot in a bike accident. Instead, he and I had one of the biggest fights of our relationship during the wharf to wharf as he drove the camp van around to the finish line to pick up the runners at the end. I don't remember what exactly we were fighting about, but we were sure fighting. For a really long time.

This year, more than half the staff signed up to run the race, including myself and Daniel. Lori and Andrew, another couple at camp, signed up too. Lori and I run together, so we decided we'd run this particular course together as well. And Daniel and Andrew ran together. Isn't that cute?

From the very start, Lori and I decided we were not going to put the unnecessary pressure on ourselves to run the entire more-than-6 miles of the race. We were going to do our best. On average, these days, when we run, we do a good solid 3 miles. The most I've EVER run is 5 miles and that was in college, back in the day :)

Oh, and also, I haven't run in a long time...maybe twice since camp started. The only real time to do it is before breakfast, and you're so exhausted at the end of the day that you (well, me and Daniel) want to hit the snooze at least 5 times before you actually HAVE to get up.

But I still feel like I'm in good (maybe better than ever) shape. The no-sugar thing plus walking around camp all the time, going up stairs and hills (the camp is built into a mountain) every day is exhausting! But I feel good :)

So, race day. The race was on this past Sunday, which I thought was interesting. But, oh well.

The Camp Hammer staff shows up at the race. We have car-pooled, and it is early. We are all wearing our "Hammer Stache '08" tank tops. "Stache" is really "staff", but most of the male staff has been growing out mustaches all summer, so it's "stache" on the tank. Daniel does not sport the 'stache. It was not my doing, either. He said "no stache" and I said "okay!"

Some of the girls have drawn blue staches on their upper lips with eyeliner someone has. It's funny. I opt for no 'stache. I can only imagine the sweat mixing with the eyeliner and my stache is only then blue gunk smeared from nose to chin. Ew.

The race begins. There are at least 15,000 people in the race, and more on the sidelines. So when the gun goes off, it's another 8 minutes before we actually get to the starting line!

Lori and I take off and play a fun game called "people dodging"--it is played just like it sounds. you dodge the people going slower than you and look for escapes through the crowds in order to set your own smooth pace.

Mile 1 is pretty hard. I think "great. This is not fun" but I also recognize that the first and second miles are the hardest. We push past.

At mile 3, I'm feeling good. So is Lori. My knee hurts somewhat from an old injury, but I am going to push past it. At mile 4, Lori and I look at each other and say "we are soooo going to run this whole thing!" At mile 5, it's a "Yes!!!!!!" (There are large balloon canopies that mark every mile. It really helps with morale, I believe. Those balloons kept me going). And then there was only one more mile left, and we were running hard. Our breathing was steady and uniform, we were not huffing and puffing. In fact, we may have been flying that last mile. We crossed the finish line, hi-fived each other, and shared a proud moment.

I ran an entire 10k. 6 miles! I never thought I'd be able to do that. But I did. And it was great.

I came home and immediately crashed into a power nap, and the next day my body was aching. And today I feel sick. Throat, body aches, you know. But the Wharf to Wharf was conquered by the Hammer Stache. It was a lot of fun. And it makes me want to do a half marathon, if my knees could take it. I'd definitely have to train pretty hard.

Oh! I also got a hair cut yesterday. Daniel and I went in on our day off to try a new place. I love my haircut. It's pretty short, just below the chin, and kind of spunky. The bangs I had are now side bangs. They were driving me crazy down in front. Daniel got a haircut too. It's still long, but now the boy's got style!

I am flying to Amarillo this weekend for my dear Lenna's wedding! I'll be singing in it, so say a prayer that my throat gets better. I know she doesn't want a frog croaking as she walks down the aisle :)

Only 2 1/2 more weeks after this one! I can't believe it.

Hasta,

Mrs. Proffitt

ohhhhhhhhh Camp.

Apostle 3 already...only 1 more to go after this? It seems strange that we spent months preparing for this program, and we spent more time preparing for it than we've actually been running it.

I had a similar feeling not to long ago----oh yeah, it was my wedding! 5 months of planning crammed into 5 hours of party. Wonderful, yes, but short? yes, yes.

We are still doing well...the other day a mountain lion was spotted chasing 2 bucks down the road from camp, so we're all on mountain lion alert. Not freaking out, but on alert, yes.

This weekend most of the camp staff is running a 10k race in Santa Cruz. I haven't run in awhile, so wish me luck.

In other news, I actually went to Texas a few weeks ago. My great-grandmother (Granny) passed away at the age of 93. What a life!!! I was amazed that I actually got to come to Texas for the funeral--if you didn't know I was in town, don't feel bad. I didn't tell anyone and it was a really spur of the moment trip....and I spent most of it with family, which was fabulous. It was a really great time of celebration and love, and remembering a beautiful life. The whole trip was a blessing...and it came at a much-needed time. I needed to get out of camp for a bit, needed to see my family, and I needed to be able to express the things I'm learning up here with them and have them accept me in it. so overall, it was really great and restful.

I'm sorry i'm a terrible summer-camp blogger. I have to run.....duty calls!

Freedom, Love, Connection, Value, Stripped.

I believe that, as humans, those are all things we really need to function.

I've realized these last 2 weeks that I am fully human and therefore, desire those things.I need those things.

We are on our last day of our first Apostle. For the last 2 weeks, we've been showing these kids what it looks like to be disciples of Christ. Not just believers or Christians, but disciples--discipleship: the intense, never-ending journey of being like Christ. It's hard!

I'm learning myself that I'm not quite sure I know who I am in Christ and in my journey of being a disciple. I know bits and pieces, yes, of who I am, but the whole of who I am I'm beginning to think I am just now starting to dissect and discover.

I think that comes with being stripped of everything I once found pieces of my identity in. Everything from my clothes to my job to the reputation of my name. I don't think clothes, job, and reputation are necessarily bad things to identify WITH, but I wonder if I found my identity in those things. Now that my clothes have had to change with my environment, my job has been nonexistent for the last 4 months, and I have a new name, I realize that when I am bare and insecure, who I am shines through. I'm not sure I really know that person the way I would like to.

So now I am on a journey to know myself--not in relation to what I wear or what my name means or what my job is, but who I am behind all of those things. I think I know some things, but I also think there is a ton I don't know--and a ton more I will never know. Stay tuned.

In other news, we Proffitts are tired but blessed to have a great staff to lead these high schoolers, and we are hopeful that God has and will continue to use us to minister and lead and reveal Jesus to these kids in ways they've never seen or imagined.

I have been leading worship for Apostle, which has been good/interesting. It's been about a year and a half since I've lead worship with just me and my guitar. So in this area, I am stripped as well. It's interesting to see how I've grown and changed since the last time it was just me and my guitar in college. But it's also very scary. I feel very inadequate. "That's just where God wants you" you say...Yes, I know. But that doesn't make it any less scary!

In still other news, it turns out if you want to get ahold of me, it either has to be every other Saturday or at 6:30 in the morning my time. I occasionally can e-mail, like right now I have time, but the Internet is extremely sketchy and annoying. Again, stripped :) On Mondays, Daniel and I have off but we try to take that time to really invest in each other since we're running around all day at camp and not getting to connect like we would like to.

In still other news, Peanut Butter went on the "dessert" list. I found myself eating gobs of PB, in a subconscious (I believe) attempt to compensate for the lack of sugar. But, I don't crave sweets and it's not hard to say no. I also feel TONS better. My body feels better and I feel better in my clothes, which is nice. I know, everyone says "I can't do that. I could never give up dessert"....I was one of those people. But it's not that hard. And I am surrounded by dessert every day. It's like Christmas year-round here at camp. If i can do it, you can too. I know we've only been at it for 3 weeks, but i've NEVER gone 3 weeks in my life without dessert, and I feel confident about continuing!

Okay, I must run. Our kids right now are discovering the 9 Sacred Pathways, which are dispositions towards worship. This is my favorite activity. I could devote a whole blog to it, so maybe I will one day.

Know that even though I'm not talking to you, I love you!

Mrs. Proffitt